Changes

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I haven’t updated this blog in for ever. Tonight seems like a good night to do so. But instead of talking bout tattooing and the crazy life I’m caught up in, I’m gonna go a little deeper in my thoughts. I’m tired. I’ve been on the road for 2+ years now and have lost a lot of friends and contact with people I care about. Sometimes I get caught up in the party life and forget about who matters. I get pulled in a lot of different directions with work, friends, family, etc. there’s always somebody let down or upset and it sucks. I’ve met some amazing people and unfortunately I can’t hold onto everyone. It’s easy when you’re the one splitting, but when you’re the one being left behind its rough. Life is a hurricane, smiles and tears. I’ve been so overwhelmed with trying to get better as an artist I lost myself and what’s truly important, along with people I love and care about. Those of you that feel betrayed I apologize, There are no excuses. My hunger for work was fueled by my drive to stay out of jail. The 7 years of prison still fuck up my sleep. I guess I’m fortunate to have this dream life of traveling and somewhat fame, though it is a bitter sweet dream. 32 years old and Im still looking for something, maybe it’s been right under my nose the entire time, maybe I lost it. Human nature pisses me off. We’ve all found diamonds, someone who we think is shiny and amazing. We cherish them and hold them close, never wanting them out of our sites. And then they grow dull, or we misplace them… Out of site out of mind kind of thing. But if we lose them it’s a different story. Now they’re important, now we want them back and it’ll break you down if you can’t have them back. I’ve lost a lot of different things in my life, serenity, freedom, family, friends, diamonds. I’ve traded them for parties and publicity, what a wrong decision. Can’t change the past, all you can do is prove yourself in the future. I hope I do. I want my diamond.

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3 responses to “Changes

  1. Carl, you’re actually a bit of an inspriation to some of us… we had a friend that unfortunately went back to jail for a short period of time and when we got out we told him that he could stay with us until he got back on his feet. I was a bit uncomfortable only because I didnt know how all the parole stuff worked but I thought about how there were people there for you like that and how that helped you. He’s a good guy and is clean now and just needs a chance to get on his feet so he can succeed in life again and be a better role model for those in his life. If it wasnt for the ups and downs in life it would be boring! just know some of your actions have helped others make good choices..thanks!

  2. I think sometimes people do what they think is the right decisions or what seems like the right decisions at that time. Even if it turns out not to be you would never learn from it had you not took those steps. I don’t know you that well but from reading what you just posted going from 7 years of prison to where you at now is a hell of an accomplishment. Hope you get what you looking for or gain what you lost but if it’s meant to be then it will come back to you whether it be friends, family, or that diamond you lookin for.

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